onyx and cobalt
by Ju5t An0th3r H3d63h06
Summary: —love is messy and confusing and inconvenient and bittersweet, sometimes. highschool!au, ikari, oneshot.


**a/n: Opened up something for HughMAY Week and wrote this instead. I REGRET ****NOTHING.**** :D **

**The usual warnings apply here: swearing, potential ooc, going overboard on (par(en(the(ses)))), title has almost nothing to do with story, etcetera etcetera. Now, onwards! **

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING—wow okay, that got old quick. :/**

* * *

so baby if you love me just let me know  
'cause everytime we touch touch it's turning cold  
promise that we'll never fall apart,  
and I'll love you with my glass heart.

~leona lewis, glassheart

* * *

(onyx and cobalt)

* * *

She walks in midway through second period.

* * *

He's got his headphones in as usual, camouflaged within his dark purple locks, and he's scrolling through the music list. He's just noticing that Reggie's snuck some more of that K-pop shit onto his iPod when he hears his name.

* * *

"You can sit over there next to Paul."

_No, you can't._

* * *

The new girl sits down, and he scowls, onyx eyes darkening in anger (because of course the teacher had to break the circle of empty seats around him by sticking some _girl_ in one of them.) He flicks a glance over at her. She's nothing special, really: long hair an odd shade of cobalt, pink-and-black skirt a little shorter than uniform code, a large amount of pink accessories decorating her arms, a pink backpack (really, does she only own pink?) and Doc Martens.

Exact replicas of the ones he's wearing. (Except they're _pink._)

_You've got to be kidding me._ The purplette raises his head, a small spark of incredulity rising in his eyes as he finally meets the sapphire eyes of the new girl. She notices and waves a tentative hi.

His hand moves on autopilot, giving her a sort-of wave back.

The girl grins for real this time, turning back to face the teacher and pulling out a notebook and pen. (Both are pink.) Paul returns to scrolling his iPod, wondering why his hand has mysteriously decided to turn traitor to the rest of his body (and also noting that the crap his older brother has picked out actually isn't too bad.)

* * *

It's lunchtime when the girl with the pink boots reappears.

* * *

He's retreated to the jungle gym in the old abandoned park to eat his lunch because it's the only empty spot at this time of day. The fountain is cluttered with airheads throwing pennies and wishing for empty words, and the courtyard is full of stupid innocent freshmen giggling at each other and pretending like there's no test next period.

* * *

"Why are you here?"

"Free country. Also, you're my student guide."

* * *

He scowls and ignores the sound of her boots squeaking on the rusty metal bars as she climbs up to join him in unwrapping her lunch. Biting into his chicken wrap, he notes that she is not eating a bowl full of leaves like most of the other girls in their class.

She's different, that's for sure. (But that is in no way going to make them friends.)

* * *

They become friends (because fate has it out for him or something.)

* * *

She calls out to him and waves from across the hall, and he nods in quiet acquiescence of the fact that they're walking home together today. It's been a month, and the pink boots have still not vanished from his line of vision. Instead, they've managed to somehow become a permanent fixture (just as permanent as the K-pop tunes and the knowing looks Reggie keeps sneaking at him.)

* * *

He doesn't get it.

* * *

She likes pink. (He's getting used to it.)

She talks his ear off every day. (The phone bill is sky-high on both ends, although he doesn't do much more than listen.)

She introduces him to random people. (He talks to them of his own volition, sometimes.)

She comes over to his house uninvited. (He sits at the table and does his homework (and helps her out) while Reggie finds candles and serves linguini and drops very un-subtle hints about the current state of their acquaintanceship.)

* * *

She smiles at him every day. (No matter how shitty her day has been, he can always count on her to grin for real when she spots him after school or before school or everywhere, actually (because they see each other a lot more lately.))

* * *

She never gets sick (or runs out of energy, for that matter. She's like the damn Energizer Bunny or something (except the one day where she does catch a cold, he buys her Nyquil and brings her sushi rolls and collects the assignments for her and is over her house almost every day until she recovers.))

* * *

"How did you know sushi was my favorite food in the universe?"

"Contrary to popular belief, I listen sometimes."

* * *

He brings her sushi again, and they sit at the top of the jungle gym in an established routine (that he didn't know was established until they started sitting there every day, but at this point he doesn't care) and she grins the widest he's ever seen her, and all of a sudden she's hugging him and he almost falls off the jungle gym in surprise. (If it was anyone else he would have probably pushed them off the bars, but since it's her (when did that start to matter?) he lets her do her tacklehugthing and babble in his ear about how awesome he is and sorry I called you a cold-hearted jerk when I first met you (he remembers that still, and something like a weight lifts from his heart) and eek it's crab too? you are a wonderful human being.) And she's still grinning that bright (lovely) grin at him even as she eats her seafood thingies, and the sun is doing strange things to his eyes because he's never thought of her as more than a (gorgeous) friend, sort of—

* * *

—he gets it.

* * *

He likes (is hopelessly in love with) the blue-haired girl with the pink Doc Martens (who, despite the fact that she likes pink and talks his ear off every day and introduces him to random people and comes over his house uninvited, has bypassed his cold façade in favor of a place in his heart (however sappy and stupid it sounds.))

He wonders if she knows. She has this uncanny ability to know exactly what he is thinking, sometimes, and it scares him (because what the hell is she, Jirachi (and that's when he realizes he's done for if she's had enough of an effect on him to make him try her video game habit.))

* * *

She falls in love and his world goes to hell.

* * *

His heart breaks (and he wonders (because he's been doing a lot of that lately) why people use that expression when really it feels more like a giant razor blade is tearing through him every time she flashes her (stupid) (beautiful) (perfect) smile at him and waves with one hand (only one, because the other is intertwined with _(Lucas's.)_)

* * *

He hates _(Lucas)_ (and it's pathetic, really, how much he despises the easygoing guy who hasn't done anything to him (except steal her) so he retreats back to monosyllabic responses and cold expressions and avoiding the jungle gym and not really listening to anything anyone says, anymore.)

* * *

"Hey, Paul, you've been really out of it lately…you okay?"

"I'm fine."

* * *

She doesn't believe him.

* * *

"No. You're not."

"How would you know?"

* * *

His voice surprises even him, all ragged-rough edges and icy demeanor.

* * *

"Because we're friends. Friends are supposed to care for each other."

"Is that all I am to you?"

* * *

He walks away, not waiting for her response, and tries to pretend he doesn't see her hurt (crushed) expression when his eyes flicker back traitorously (like they always do, because his body is always betraying him in little ways like the sideways quirk grin he caught himself giving her one day (he refuses to think about this, because he is leaving. Now.))

* * *

His feet take him to the park across the street (the one with the creaky swings and the rusted jungle gym, where they ate lunch together once upon a time (before everything changed and his life went to hell.)) He sits on one of the too-familiar swings and pushes off, lightly swinging his feet and staring blankly into space (and wondering how he's going to fix this ever.)

She catches up with him while he's lost to the word and sits on the other swing, copying his actions (and the silence between them is oppressively loud, even more so than her usual stream-of-consciousness chatter in his ears.)

They swing back and forth in a syncopated beat: he flies backwards while she's up in the clouds and their roles reverse every three and a half seconds.

* * *

"What did you mean back there?"

* * *

(of course, the first question she would ask is the one that he's struggling to answer on his own (except not really, because the answer is buried somewhere in his subconscious and he would rather not drown in the Nile while he can help it.))

* * *

"Nothing. Forget I said anything."

* * *

She still doesn't get it, and he's glad (no he's not) because even though she's staring at him with that confused expression maybe things can go back to normal—

* * *

"I broke up with Lucas, if that's what this is about."

* * *

—but things can't ever go back to normal, not after that (because it's not about _(Lucas,)_ it's about being in love with your best (girl) friend and not knowing how to deal with the fact that she doesn't know that she's stepping all over your heart with those pink Doc Martens (and as her expression changes from confused to stunned he realizes too late that he is saying these things out loud, and that they have both stopped swinging to hear what he has to say—

* * *

—fuckit.))

* * *

He leans forward slightly on the swing and crashes his lips against hers (and it's all those damn cliché fireworks and sparks, and he wishes it wasn't because maybe he could still deny it (but it's undeniable that he's fallen too hard to get up, no matter how high the swing goes.))

* * *

They pull apart eventually as a direct result of the forces of physics and whatnot (because the swings are still swinging,) and she stares breathlessly at him as she finally sees everything he's ever wanted to say written across his face (I like you okay?) (I realized it a while ago actually) (and yeah, this was maybe not the best way for you to find out) (so I'm sorry.) And in return, she wills him to hear her response (I like you too) (I hid it from myself because I was scared) (and stupid) (so I'm sorry too, for realizing too late.)

* * *

"Still scared?"

"No."

* * *

And then she kisses him back.

* * *

enfin.


End file.
